Feeling Wanted

A few months ago I was pretty well in the depths of despair over ever getting to work in my chosen field.  After I left seminary the economy was bad, few people were hiring, and those that had the ability to choose (i.e. ministers) were generally not doing the retiring, resigning, or moving that they normally do.  So I took the first job that became available to me.  It was a fun job with pretty poor pay.  It was not stressful, but it wasn't fulfilling and didn't really use my primary skillset.  While I was doing that job I dithered around a lot sort of halfheartedly looking for a ministry position, but mostly looking in fits and starts and then getting discouraged about how few job opportunities there were.

Then there was an opening at my church.  At any other church that size it would have been an extreme long shot as a church that large wouldn't take a chance on someone as inexperienced as I was.  Of course it was still a long shot as there were a lot of people applying for the position, many of whom would inevitably have much better credentials than I did.  However, I had been active in a lot of ways at this church and had served a residency there and previously worked with all the staff there.  I heard a lot of positive things about my resume and applying for the position and made it into the final round of candidates, but ultimately they chose someone else.  After that experience I went into a period of anger, burnout, and self-doubt.  I began to seriously doubt my call and to try to figure out what career I would take instead.

Ultimately, however, it lead me to start a very determined and concerted push toward finding a ministry position.  I got into some pastor search databases, started meeting with people inside and outside of my denomination, sent my resume all over, and started doing a lot of courtesy interviews.  Prospects have been emerging.  I have built strong relationships for the residency I am applying for, and have even built some long term prospects for when Lisa and I are ready to move back to the midwest.  I proffered my services to a friend in one interview and now a church down here is creating a position and I am the final stages of the search process with them.  Things are looking very good with regard to that position and I will know for sure in two weeks.  Because they are creating the position out of my interview it definitely aligns with my interests and passions.  Also Lisa and I have been visiting there and have really loved the people and the church.  It is a small church with a lot of children and will be a great place for Callum to be.  Also it is bivocational, so I will be able to continue staying home with Callum.

In a few months my outlook has been completely turned around.  I am once again feeling confident and happy, even enough to counter the strong emotions of my previous despair.  Feeling that someone wants me and believes in me has been simply amazing.